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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27442543">Touch (Sleeping At Last song inspired)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadkingmars/pseuds/deadkingmars'>deadkingmars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Ball</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Flashback, Grief, Healing, Loss, OC, Original Characters - Freeform, fan universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:22:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,296</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27442543</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadkingmars/pseuds/deadkingmars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Charddoni holds on to too many memories of what feels like their past life. Burdened by the grief and loss, they hide away in their regrets instead of looking to what they still have left. Sara helps them learn how let go.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Touch (Sleeping At Last song inspired)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Lyrics at the end notes</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>     "Charddoni!” Lord Kische calls from across the meadow to his angel, who </em> <b> <em>was </em> </b> <em> peacefully meditating by the creek. The warm breeze rushes through their white hair, which up until the point was the only sign of movement from them. Of course, until their Destroyer interrupted them. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>     The land, as it always was, is quiet and serene. The soft grass dotted with poppies and snapdragons sways in the breeze like a rehearsed dance underneath the always late afternoon sky. The clouds meander across the so-blue-almost-lavender sky that, even in broad daylight, still hosts hundreds of twinkling stars and imagined constellations that illustrated above the horizon. It was warm, peaceful, and perfect. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>    “Lord Kische, I’m busy,” Charddoni calls back and once more draws in a deep breath to return their mind inwards. Before they know it, Kische is already floating over, the wisps of fire atop his head bringing a light along with him like a second sun.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      “Aw, Chardi! It hurts me when you lie,” he replies, feigning offense with a dramatic sigh and an over exaggerated movement to lay across the grass next to the angel. There’s the faintest smell of campfire and spice that drifts into the air as he settles against the earth. “Finally too busy to pay attention to me?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Charddoni finally cracks open an eye to stare at the fire elemental laying next to him. Upon seeing them open that eye, Kische grins. “Thank you for acknowledging my existence, finally,” Kische taunts, his tone flippant and that growing grin becoming playful. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      The angel exhales, shakes their head, and drops their hands to their lap. But when they look over to Kische, there’s a smile on their face. “If that’s all I had to do, you needn't ask,” they reply with a chuckle. “What do you need, my Lord?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Kische sighs, again, and stares up at the iridescent sky. “Nearly ten millenia we have known each other and you still call me ‘Lord?’ Is that all they teach you to call the Destroyers in angel etiquette school?” As he speaks, he reaches a warm hand up to twirl a strand of Charddoni’s hair around his finger. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      “No, well-- yes-- No, we don’t have ‘school’ that teaches us that, it’s just what we do.” Charddoni doesn’t seem to mind Kische’s touch; this is a common occurrence by now. It was familiar, almost expected to occur whenever the two were near each other. “We must always show our Destroyers that we have nothing but the utmost respect for them, and that includes addressing you by your title first, and name second.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Kische groans and sits up, now leaning against Charddoni. “That’s boring. Terribly, terribly boring. You know I won’t tell if you just use my name like everyone else does?” He waves his fiery hand around in a gesture at all the people that weren’t there. “I mean, I call you nicknames. Does that not bother you?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      The angel shakes their head, staring off past the flowing meadows and to the distant treeline. “Of course not, my Lord. You may call me whatever you like.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Kische leans down now, close to Charddoni’s ear, a mischievous grin on his face and playfulness burning in his searing yellow eyes. “Okay then, my dear~” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Charddoni’s face instantly collects a deep purple and they scramble to their feet, scowling down at Kische with a face twisted in embarrassment. “No, not that, Lord Kische! Absolutely not! You cannot speak to me in such a way, I- I will not have--” they began to lose their words the louder Kische’s laughter became. He was rolling on the grass, scorch marks left wherever he lay. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      “O-Oh, you should see how violet your face is! I’ve never seen you turn that color!” Kische cackles, struggling to catch his breath. “You know I wouldn’t, I couldn’t call you that in any seriousness!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Why that caused a pang deep in Charddoni's chest, they didn’t know why. They were playful like this on occasion-- that never hurt anyone, certainly didn’t cross a boundary that Charddoni didn’t dare cross. Why did they wish so badly that they could, though? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Kische recovers from his bout of laughter and sits up, wiping a nonexistent tear from his  pupilless eye. “I’m sorry, Charddoni. I hope that didn’t upset you,” he apologizes between giggles. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Charddoni blinks themself back to the present moment, and huffs as they smooth out their cerulean dress. “Of course not, Lord Kische. You’ll have to try harder than that,” they tease. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Kische raises a brow, but decides he’s already pushed a lot of his luck for the moment. “Fair enough. Help me up?” He asks and holds out his glowing orange hands towards Charddoni. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      They give a breath of a chuckle and take his hands (though they glowed like hot magma, they were comfortably warm) and begin to pull him up. “You know, Lord Kische, I am much shorter than you, I do not believe this actually helps-- AH!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      As he is being pulled up, Kische loses his balance and falls forwards, accidentally pushing them both into the creek. He hisses and howls in pain as the cool water rushes around his limbs, turning them from hot orange to dark red and creating a cloud of steam around them.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Charddoni is disorientated and mildly upset for the briefest of moments, but upon hearing Kische cry in agony, they act quickly. Ignoring their own soaked clothes, they pull the shocked Kische from the creek and onto dry land. “M-My Lord, you’ll be okay!” They assure before they take off their sash and use it to dry the water from Kische’s cooled limbs, trying to warm them up again.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      “Ack-- Chardi, I-I’m sorry, I slipped. Don’t worry about me, I’ll warm up again and…” Kische trails off as he looks up to see Charddoni’s face mere inches from his. Charddoni doesn’t seem to notice until Kische falls quiet ,which causes their lilac eyes to turn upwards to the elemental’s gaze. They can feel their heart stop in their chest, as it has so many times before when they dared get this close. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      “...We’ve gotten to this point before,” Kische murmurs, the pain slowly lifting from his face as a calmness took over his demeanor. “But this… this is it, isn’t it?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Charddoni swallows, a few strands of wet hair falling into their face. “Lord Kische, you know we can’t. You know… what will happen to me. I'll be erased.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Kische nods solemnly, his eyelids lowering to signal that he was looking away. “I… I know. And you know I would never make you stray away from the path you must follow. But… But please. Just once. Just once,” he repeats, his voice hushed, barely above a whisper. “Just once and never again. Just pretend it means nothing.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Charddoni’s chest ached with the sickly plague that was longing and want. Was the risk worth it? Would one small physical action be their entire downfall? Maybe it would be okay, they think, but maybe all it takes is one mistake. But he was right there, right here, right now. A hand, cool, solid, brushes that strand of hair out of Charddoni’s eyes before resting on their cheek. It felt as if the wind itself was holding its breath, stilling, waiting for this moment. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      “Charddoni,” Kische breathes out, pressing his forehead to the angel’s. “Please. Please, please, please… I want to feel again,” he pleads, now aligning his glowing golden gaze with those ethereal lavender eyes.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      And, somehow, before either of them could see it coming, their lips connect. Each second, Charddoni felt like it was a strike against them, like they were committing the greatest sin. But, by the stars, nothing in all of their immortal existence had ever felt so right. Never had the angel’s face been cradled in such a gentle way that made them feel like they were precious, a treasure to be cared for.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      It was only a moment, a brief crime, but it was done, and as Charddoni parts, they rest their pale blue hands over Kische’s slowly warming ones.  The pair are silent, both contemplating what they had just done, one feeling like they sabotaged the other. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      “This… meant nothing,”  Charddoni echoes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>      Kische nods. “It meant nothing,” he agrees. </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>“...But it meant so much, didn’t it, Charddoni?”</p><p> </p><p>The angel jumps at the interruption-- something that never seems to change between their Destroyers. They were sitting underneath an arching root of the willow tower that the angel and Destroyer called home. They were cradling a small, glowing spark that seemed to speak in a whisper and pulse with a heartbeat. A memory sprite. </p><p> </p><p>“Lord Sara! What-- What are you doing? Why are you here? How did you find me-- how long were you there?” Charddoni stammers, clutching the memory sprite tightly to their chest as they stand up and duck out of the grove. They avert their gaze from Sara entirely, electing to instead stare at the trodden path leading to this very spot.</p><p> </p><p>Sara, usually one to laugh at Charddoni’s fluster, was rather serious in this moment. He leans against one of the arching roots, watching as Charddoni passes him by. “There was more between you two than you’ve ever told me,” he observes, though his voice is void of any accusatory tone.</p><p> </p><p>“What happened thousands of years ago has nothing to do with you, my Lord,” Charddoni hisses, storming past Sara, still protecting the sprite as if there was any inkling that it would be stolen from them.</p><p> </p><p>“You never lie well, Charddoni,” Sara replies coolly. That causes Charddoni to freeze, and slowly turn to face Sara. They forcefully compose themself before they speak again.</p><p> </p><p>“You cannot tell anyone, Lord Sara. This is my best kept secret. I intend to keep it that way.”</p><p> </p><p>Sara sighs. “But you kept it from me? As if I would tell? Do you not trust me?”</p><p> </p><p>The angel pinches the bridge of their nose in frustration that this was a conversation being had. “It’s nothing like that, it’s just too much of a risk. I wanted to keep these few good memories to myself,” they explain in an impatient tone.</p><p> </p><p>The Destroyer doesn’t like that answer, but he has too many questions to come up with a good argument. “Why… why did you talk about him like you hated him, though? If you… didn’t hate him, then why are the only things I hear about him was how cold he became and how bitter he was?”</p><p> </p><p>Charddoni looks away, their eyes once more drifting to the ground like a dead leaf falling from the great tree. “Because those… those are not the memories I keep. He grew distant after years and years and years of the tension between us… we decided the best thing was to remove all emotions from each other. To forget everything we had. And… we did.” Charddoni’s tone is quieter now, distant.</p><p> </p><p>Sara’s gaze softens, their folded arms loosening. “But it wasn’t just because you didn’t want to become lost, was it?”</p><p> </p><p>Charddoni’s following silence was more like a scream to Sara's ears.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s because you didn’t want him to feel the pain of losing you,” he continues. “Because you can afford to lose a Destroyer; it happens to every angel, but for him to lose you… you would never forgive yourself, right?” He steps closer to Charddoni, who is all but choking back tears.</p><p> </p><p>“He- he made me <em> feel </em>, he made me laugh and hurt and made me feel like I was something more. He made me feel in ways I shouldn’t. It was my fault any of this happened. I failed him. He ended up getting himself killed because I-I let him feel, too.” Charddoni couldn’t stop that one, dreadful tear that ran down their cheek that they quickly hid with a wipe of their sleeve.</p><p> </p><p>Sara stands in front of Charddoni now, trying to decide if pity or acceptance was the best reaction. “Charddoni, you cannot fault yourself for feeling. It hurts, it hurts so bad. I know this. I lost someone I was close to, too,” he reminds the angel, and reaches forward to rest a hand on their shoulder. Charddoni looks up at their Destroyer; this moment felt all too surreal to them.</p><p> </p><p>“But you cannot hold onto your grief and expect it to do any good. The pain, the yearning, it ruins those good memories. You need to know what it feels like to <em> let go </em>.” Sara lowers but firms his voice as he speaks, never removing the physical contact. “And you can’t let go until you forgive yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>Charddoni was at a loss for words. They felt pathetic and weak, and they felt angry, and sorrow, and regretful, and anguised, and all they wanted was for it all to stop. They wanted to break every code and scream and fight until they could be erased, relieved of the burden that is grief.</p><p> </p><p>But Sara was right.</p><p> </p><p>The angel knew these memories were a plague. They have watched them over and over like a nightmare wearing a dream, neverending. They can feel the warmth of the sprite in their hands, a warmth that now made them sick to hold. But one day… they would like to enjoy the warmth again.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, they nod, and relinquish their hold on the memory sprite. It floats up, and up, deep into the weaves of the weeping willow, until it disappears past the fronds.</p><p> </p><p>Sara is holding Charddoni before the angel even realized they were crying. Even though they feel like they are being crushed to death, not by the hug but by the weight of their emotions, they finally feel something they had been missing for nearly ten thousand years.</p><p> </p><p>Peace.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>When will I feel this<br/>As vivid as it truly is<br/>Fall in love in a single touch<br/>And fall apart when it hurts too much?<br/>Can we skip past near-death clichés<br/>Where my heart restarts as my life replays?<br/>All I want is to flip a switch<br/>Before something breaks that cannot be fixed<br/>I know, I know the sirens sound<br/>Just before the walls come down<br/>Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman<br/>Predicting God as best he can<br/>But God I want to feel again<br/>Rain or shine, I don't feel a thing<br/>Just some information upon my skin<br/>I miss the subtle aches when the weather changed<br/>The barometric pressure we always blamed<br/>All I want is to flip a switch<br/>Before something breaks that cannot be fixed<br/>Invisible machinery<br/>These moving parts inside of me<br/>Well, they've been shutting down for quite some time<br/>Leaving only rust behind<br/>Well, I know, I know the sirens sound<br/>Just before the walls come down<br/>Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman<br/>Predicting God as best he can<br/>But God I want to feel again<br/>Oh, God I want to feel again<br/>Down my arms, a thousand satellites<br/>Suddenly discover signs of life</p><p>Thank you for reading! This is the first fic I've posted publicly in years, so I hope anyone reading enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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